How Tinder stopped me being a people pleaser

Have you seen the film Coming to America? Remember that part where the Prince has to meet his potential suitors, after some elaborate introductions in an attempt to get to know one of them he asks the girl what sort of interests she has; her response? ‘I like whatever you like’.

Hi! Hello, that’s me!!

I have no idea what made me this way but I have always wanted everyone to like me. Yes, everyone. I’ve spent a large portion of my life making sure I’m pleasant and have worked really hard on being nice. My vows as a people pleaser : I will agree with everything you say, I will always put you first and I will bend over backwards whilst the words 'I don’t mind’ literally fall out my mouth any time I'm asked a question or my opinion. 


Can self care be bad for you?

During any time of healing you have to be extra nice to yourself. Of course you deserve another duvet day. Yes you can have another glass of wine. Why not buy that cute top if it makes you feel better? 
But I’ve started to wonder if too much self care can actually have the opposite effect. Can it be bad for you?

Recently I've been making the most of focussing on myself, embracing the yolo attitude and putting myself first in every way possible and I’ve come to realise there is a fine line between self care and self sabotage that is so easily crossed.


Trust them.


What nobody tells you about taking antidepressants

They tell you nothing. That’s what.

Since I started taking antidepressants just over one year ago I have made a deliberate effort to be as open as possible and talk freely with basically anyone who’ll listen about my experience, because quite simply no one ever does.
Or no one ever did with me at least.


You don't have to be one type of person


Is having a mid life crisis really such a bad thing?

I’ve been affectionately referring to this latest period of my life as my 'midlife crisis' (for arguments sake I’m going with ‘mid-life’ but who knows when I’m actually gonna die really …)
Since the new year and my new found situation of being single, moving back to my hometown and closing down my almost 7 year old business I’ve been doing some things which might be considered ~pretty~ out of character. Some of which have probably been raising a few eyebrows amongst people who know me (and my new neighbours) but are too polite to say anything.
I’ve had seven new piercings in the space of a few months, my home decor is rivalling Barbie’s dream house with the amount of pink that’s involved, I've painted my curtains with dalmatian spots, I’m getting my teeth whitened, I’ve drank *a lot* of wine and have been very much making the most of Tinder (those last two may or may not be related) I bought myself a 12ft trampoline for my garden … Oh and I’ve started a blog where I overshare my thoughts and feelings with the entire internet.


life advice


starting again ... for real this time.

So much has happened since my ‘let’s start a fresh’ post ... turns out the new year had some more surprises in store for me. By the end of January my 12 year relationship with my partner came to an end. And with that I had to move over 100 miles back to my home town in the Midlands, all in the space of about a week. As if that wasn’t bad enough I had no financial security because my seemingly ever growing depression had taken all energy out of me to work on my business, and so it was failing. Winning at life, right?


New blog, who dis?

I’m not gonna lie, 2017 didn’t exactly go to plan. What’s weird is I’m not normally one to make ~plans. You won’t find me wishing to ‘insert life milestone' by the time I’m 30 (good job as I’d be too late lol). But it just so happened that the year I actually decided it was ‘my year’, where I actively worked specifically to try to achieve huge growth and prosperity turned into a period of set backs, loneliness and depression. Sounds fun right? It kind of crept up on me but I guess looking back it was a long time coming.


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