6.4.19

Why I'm oversharing on the internet



I admit it. I’ve been guilty of judging other people when I’ve seen their TMI insta posts, twitter rants or oversharing blog posts in the past. I’ve seen these posts as them being needy and attention seeking. Part of that was derived from how I saw other people respond to them too. I used their reactions to monitor how much of myself was acceptable to share.

It soon made me realise that my feelings were ‘too much’ and that I should probably keep it to myself.

We’re forever taught we shouldn’t be too much of anything. And I totally believed it. 100%.
Don’t be too emotional, too needy, too raw, too loud, too open. Don’t share too much.

Well here I am being quote : ‘needy’ and 'attention seeking' and oversharing all over the internet.

But it’s not for those reasons I *thought* everyone else was doing it.
I’m not doing it to make you feel sorry for me, to try and sound interesting or because I like to dwell on the drama. What I’ve learnt is something I’m sure oversharers before me have known for a while - I’m oversharing because it actually feels good.

I’m not necessarily seeking advice or looking for an answer, I’m just saying it out loud or writing it down because I need to let it out.

The thing is, when you tell yourself you’re too much -of anything - that belief quickly grows. It takes power over you. It becomes an all consuming feeling of shame that is hard to ignore.

Let me tell you something about shame;
It is a parasite.
And it will eat you alive.

But here’s the thing.
If you open yourself up and talk about it everything becomes a lot less scary. A *LOT* lot less.
It really is as simple as that.
And I know this because since I have been telling anyone and everyone my innermost thoughts and feelings, a huge weight has literally been lifted off my entire life.

A big part of the worry is that ‘people will find out’. That the deep, dark, dirty secrets you’ve been trying to keep under wraps will be bared for all to see. And well, the truth is, if you tell everyone about them to begin with there isn’t really much left to be afraid of. Because, what’s left to be exposed?

It becomes an insignificant after thought - ‘Oh, that?’ rather than an all consuming “OMG, THAT!”

And those deep, dark dirty secrets you’re trying to hide often feel like something obvious. Partly because you assume everyone has already realised you're a massive fraud, that they're just humouring you and fake laughing along to your jokes. But it *actually* feels obvious because of the fact so many other people are having the EXACT SAME worries, fears and ‘omg I’m such a failure at life’ thoughts too.
On a daily basis.
You are not the only one to feel this way.

And if we all talked about it more, wouldn’t we all feel better for it?

If it became part of normal conversation and not considered oversharing we could spend our time thinking about more important things like what we’re going to have for dinner tonight or if our pets really truly know that we love them.

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