Hello and welcome to my half hearted club.

I’m Harriet and I have no idea what I'm doing.

At the beginning of 2018 I had my life turned upside down when I was dumped by my boyfriend of 12 years. To have your whole existence uprooted is overwhelming enough but to then have it dawn on you that maybe you weren’t entirely happy for that whole entire time anyway - well that’s kinda scary.

I’ve had this ‘realisation' (aka : existential crisis) that I’ve been living a half hearted existence for longer than I care to remember. That I’ve spent most of my life putting myself second, maybe even third or fourth, or so far down the list I’ve lost count.

And up until now I’ve been *totally* ok with that.

I was happy to ‘be the supportive partner’. To take a back seat. To cheer everyone else on and hide because it meant I never had to put myself out there and do anything where I might fail. Why go big when you can go home, ey?

So where am I at now?
Well you can't suddenly change a mindset you've been growing for the last 30 something years ... so I’m getting content in the knowledge that I’m an occasional failure at life, and I’m working on making good with what I’ve got. I’m battling through with depression, dealing with conflicting feelings of heartbreak, relief, guilt …feeling all the feels. And basically relearning lessons in my life all over again.

I’m using this blog as a space for recording small steps, notes to self and reminders, which will hopefully help me sort *this mess* out (and maybe yours too if you need it).
Think of it as a self care club for when you can’t even with ample cutes added in for good measure.

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